Balancing Act - Peace & Passion

Even when I was little, I never liked teeter-totters. Believe me, I was never the kid to shy away from adventure or even unsteadiness beneath my feet. I climbed trees, haybales, tall ladders, and sat on rooftops for fun. I loved every piece of equipment at the park except the teeter-totter.

When I was eight, I began taking ballet classes. It’s a common misconception that if you take ballet, you must be a very talented and graceful ballerina. The truth is, I needed ballet; without ballet, I wouldn’t BE graceful at all.

The teeter totter is a mind picture of unsteadiness and uncertainty. You go up, you come down; you fly off it or you get your bottom slammed on the ground.  Ballet is all a matter of balance. You lean from side to side in an attempt to keep your balance while up on your toes. The two together present a perfect combination of comparisons to the topic that has been laid on my heart to address.  Passion, and peace. How do the two go together in the Christian walk? For me, the question is: how do I perfect a balance of them in my life?

There are many definitions for the word balance; I’ll list only a couple.

{ Balance: a means of judging or deciding; a counterbalancing weight, force, or influence }

balance: keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall

The concept of the balancing act, between passion and peace, is actually both of these definitions.

In our world today, we are often surrounded by many voices that scream for our attention. We become flustered, frazzled and even depressed by the onslaught of media, drama, gossip, relationships and overall a very fast-paced society in which advertisements claim to have the answers we long for… but they almost never measure up to expectations. How hard it can be to have faith in humanity sometimes, to trust, to have hope; or, even more difficult, to find peace. Peace. I’ve been taught since childhood that peace, true peace, is found in God. I hold fast to that faith, and it gives me great comfort when I do go to my Father and read his word. But the key word here is “when”.  It pains me to admit that I often let myself become overwhelmed with the cares of the world and struggle with my self-sufficiency long before I turn to Him and ask for help, even when I know in my heart of hearts that it is only in Him that I find peace.

Another thought that is sorely overlooked in our world, in my generation and others, is passion. How long has it been since you felt a real passion for something? My greatest struggle right now is with my restlessness and my apathy; it feels as if the two are at war within me, and it grieves me so. Why, when I have the source of greatest peace, do I feel so restless? It must be because of my longing to do something important, to be someone, to make a difference. So I need a passion. But when I feel this passion rise up in me, and I realize how I have failed and how incapable I am to bring it about, it brings depression and anxiety, and I long for peace. Some may call this a vicious cycle, but I know it is more than that. It is not an emotional rollercoaster (even if it were, I don’t suppose I am the only one riding it.)  Rather, I see it as a working of the Holy Spirit in me. I have been forced to ask myself, what is the proper balance between peace, and passion?

Do I forsake certain passions for the sake of less stress in my life? Never. But do I take the advice of others, and take precautions to make sure I don’t have too much on my plate? Of course, although it must be done according to God’s will, and not the will of men. And what of peace? If I seek out peace in every situation, and take time to stop and breathe whenever the going gets rough, does that mean I am lazy? Sometimes I think so. Is peace the underlying cause for my laziness? No. Ridiculous as it sounds, I’ve even wondered,  if I didn’t feel so at peace, would I be more apt to pursue diligence and complete my daily responsibilities (note- schoolwork!) with greater zeal. When I am calm and collected, while everyone around me seems to be in a frantic or disturbed state, does that make me apathetic? No. Apathy is the presence of indifference, not the absence of anxiety.  But I must not sit idly by, or believe that a state of ease is to be desired.  In all of these questions, and confusion and searching, I have been graced with the wisdom to come to several conclusions.

I must seek out passion above all comforts. Peace must come from God, and no other. With His peace in my soul, I must not only believe that His strength will be sufficient for me to do His will, but I must act on those passions He lays on my heart.  Numerous or new passions do not give reason to disregard past and common dreams and callings, or to wait for an “opportune” time. Instead, I must follow Christ’s example and do the will of the Father in every circumstance, and simultaneously keep my eyes focused on the ultimate goal, the greatest passion: that of showing His love to the world.

God gives us all individual passions and callings, and He has equipped you with every good thing to bring about His will in the manner of which you have been created for.  Perhaps you do not feel strongly for any particular cause right now. It is not a sign of weakness; but, maybe you just need to consciously open up your eyes, ears and heart to the world around you, and in time, I believe God will show you where He desires for you to work.  Peace and passion do go together; in fact, I now see that they work in perfect harmony. Yes, passion can lead to anxiety which leads to a quest for peace which can lead to stillness and even apathy which leads to a thirst for passion. But you see, this is not a vicious cycle or an emotional roller coaster.  It is not a crazy, flying-high bumping-down ride on a teeter totter.

It is more like a ballet.

A perfect combination. A dance.

And because of Christ’s sacrifice and the working of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have true peace and passion.

It is a balancing act. And a beautiful one at that.