"There is No Other Stream" - Living a Spirit-led Life with Our Gift of Free Will

I love the chapter in C.S. Lewis’ book, the Silver Chair, where Jill  (a friend of Eustace Scrubb, the Pevensies’ cousin)  arrives in Narnia, and upon looking for a drink of water, finds a stream, only to discover that the Great Lion is lying at the river’s edge, looking at her.  After a bit of conversation, Jill’s fears turn to desperation…

“I daren't come and drink," said Jill.
“Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.
“Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer."I suppose I must go and look for another stream, then."
“There is no other stream," said the Lion.

Growing up in a Christian home, deeply rooted in my faith in God’s word since early childhood, I learned much about how we as humans can do nothing good on our own, and that we always need the Lord and His saving grace. I also heard and believed that we daily need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts and actions. There have been many similar themes of “surrender” and “reckless abandon” circulating through the Christian music industry, media publications and the like; every time I even hear or see such words I am thrilled and I get chills all throughout. Why?

Because I am in love with Christ, and it is because He loved me that I love Him, and because He loves me that I have this desire to please him. I know that there is “no other stream”, as it were, no other living water besides Jesus. I want to surrender my all to Him. 

But what does that even mean? I’ve asked myself over the years. 

In the Bible we see that as Christians, we have instructions on how to life the life we’ve been called to; we must surrender ourselves and our worldly thoughts and passions to God every day, and do His will rather than the will of sinful men.

I have been to several churches where almost the entire sermon, worship service, and open-mic time are unplanned.  The people there believe that any words of worship will come to them as the Spirit leads and they share with the congregation what God reveals to them in that moment. Simply put, they just go with whatever God tells them. The stream flows freely. This is an amazing feat of faith, don’t you think? Yes, the service may appear like a holy, proverbial  “train wreck “ at times, but it has been my experience that the Spirit of God does move mightily in these places where He is invited. Many of the other organizations and churches I’ve been to have an outline of their service, and go according to schedule, and maybe leave a bit of room for a last-minute change if Holy Spirit’s prompts. But on average, the individual person must be willing to break out of the mold and risk looking silly if they feel called to share something or worship in a more “unconventional” manner.  The stream, the living water, is held in jars, brought out only when man deems it necessary. It is often deep inside my soul that I listen to the Holy Spirit’s quiet voice in these places. It is not like I myself feel the need to just break out in dance in church—not at all—but I do see many people coming to my current church with an expression of reservation. It seems as though they feel it is expected and required to be inactive during the service and to follow up by working with zeal outside the church. Some churches, denominations and people groups go so far as to say that the Holy Spirit is no longer at work, that such miraculous interceptions stopped with the apostles. To them, the stream has dried up.

Now, I do not want the focus to be on the state of the American Christian churches (for there is much to be addressed on that topic alone). Rather, I am speaking of how the Spirit of God can direct our daily lives. Earlier I mentioned the frequency of the themes of “surrender” and “reckless abandon” in our Christian culture today. As I’ve been contemplating these themes lately, I’ve realized that this idea of the Holy Spirit’s direction somehow differs, without contradicting, the idea of surrendering daily to God’s will. I can best pose it to you as the question I initially asked myself:

“What would it look like for me to, while living out God’s will as defined in His word, be willing to do whatever the Holy Spirit directs me to do, every minute of every day?”

Wow. Our first reaction is to think that a life like this would look a little crazy. Maybe in a good way, but still crazy. A bit hairy. A bit scary, even. Honestly, who wants to lose all control of their life? Who wants to be flooded by a stream of living water that can’t even be explained? Who insists that someone else directs their own decisions? But that is what this really comes down to, isn’t it? No matter what your present or past beliefs are or have been about the working of the third member of the Trinity,  the decision really is all about control.

We have been given the gift of free will by a God who has a plan written for eternity.  (Aha…. a quote! Please, just stick with this: I’m sure it will all make sense soon.)

The concept of free will is complex, but I will state it as thus: as Christians, we have the freedom to choose between good and evil thoughts, words and practices. We make choices every day in our Christian walk, to either glorify God or please the human nature, to be constructive or destructive, to do what our flesh longs to do our do what God has commanded us to do in love.

So how does this all tie together with living a Spirit-led life?

Before we can grasp the idea of being led by the Holy Spirit, we need to have an understanding of who the Holy Spirit is, and only then can we see how He works in our lives. (A good article to read on this is linked below: )

http://www.truthmagazine.com/archives/volume35/GOT035115.html

In this post I am paralleling living a Spirit-led life to the concept of the one and only stream. This stream is living water. Aslan’s words, “There is no other stream”, are a comparison to God saying there is no other way of life than to know and obey His will and live according to the Spirit. So, I began by looking at how I could live my life guided by the Holy Spirit. Naturally, I haven’t come up with any practical application, because the truth is—and it may be tricky to accept this—the Holy Spirit is not practical.  He is a real being. I know that I might look like a fool.  A simple example of what I’ve always believed to illustrate obeying the prompting of the Holy Spirit is this: I’m in a public place, and I hear a voice telling me to go up and talk to someone. I may not know them. It may not be a public place, even. It could just be in the middle of a conversation, I am prompted to say something I wouldn’t have thought of saying myself. Now this is where discernment plays in:  we must be deeply grounded in God’s word and have an intimate relationship with Him to discern His voice and know when a thought is from Him.

Because of free will, we have the choice to surrender our lives to the Holy Spirit’s calling; when we surrender ourselves to the Spirit’s leading, we are saying that we surrender our free will to Him as well. The Holy Spirit moves in us by convicting us, and he also moves among us by leading us to do the abnormal, the unthinkable, and the impossible—all inside the will of God the Father. Being willing to do and say whatever the Spirit leads you to does not necessarily  mean doing a cartwheel in church or rattling off quotes that you never even heard of to a complete stranger, but it can mean that you will be called far beyond your comfort zone, and once out there, you might not have control. I’ve heard countless stories of people who have seen, spoken and done things that were completely outside their control, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In fact, my Sunday school teacher once told me this story: In church one morning, she heard God say to her, “Go perform a cartwheel up front.” My teacher did, and after the worship service, a woman came up to her, crying. This woman was downhearted, disbelieving and wanted her life to be over.  She had told God that morning, “God, if you are so great, and you care about me, show me. I’ll have faith if I see you make someone perform a cartwheel up front.” I was told this story when I was eight years old, and it has stuck with me to this day. We have to realize that when we surrender our all to God, we aren’t saying we will do what He wants if it makes sense to us. Yes, we take captive every thought that comes into our mind and line it up with God’s truth, and we don’t act on human impulse, but we have to be willing to do whatever he calls us to do, trusting that His will and His strength will prevail.

I have lived much of my life relying on my own strength, unwilling to lose control of the one thing in my circumstances that I could control: myself.  And now this decision to live each day completely surrendered not only to God—living out his commandments, loving as He loved, making ethical decisions based on His truth and speaking in the manner he has instructed us to—but also to the divine leading of the Holy Spirit—listening to his voice, acting on His promptings, sharing the thoughts He gives and serving wherever He leads me to go—is still a mountain looming before me. I know that it’s not easy. It is risky. It is a stream of living water that I do not control, but that I cannot live without. I know now that there is no other stream. And I may not get to do everything I want to do. But as I make the choice through the God’s grace (and the free will I’ve been given) to daily surrender my plans and my will to God, the more I am making myself in tune with the Spirit, and the more His will shall become my will. To God be the glory, forevermore. Come, Holy Spirit…come…

“As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.
 For who is God besides the Lord?
    And who is the Rock except our God?
 It is God who arms me with strength
    and keeps my way secure.
 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
    he causes me to stand on the heights…” (from 2 Samuel 22)

A Call to Speak For Life

Good evening, everyone.

This is a rather unusual blog post, but I wanted to share with you one of my speeches that I wrote, on the topic of "Life vs. Death". I hope that you will read this carefully and ponder what God would have you do.

Life vs. Death

"If I were to ask you what you thought was the number one cause of death in America, what would you say? Perhaps you think it is heart disease, or cancer, or maybe even accident-related deaths. But no matter what the doctor or the media have told you, there is one major cause of death that they are not telling you about.  There is one cause of death in our country whose death tolls outnumber the death tolls of any other cause, and yet the media and the medical industry will not publicize it as it is: a national crisis. The number of lives lost to this cause is greater than the numbers of lives lost to the next two leading causes of death, heart disease and cancer, combined. In just the past 38 years, over 55 million fatalities have been recorded. Even the number of soldiers and civilians who have died in the war on Iraq, totaling 172,000 lives over the course of the war, is only .003% of the lives lost to this leading cause of death.  What is this awful death? Abortion.

Every day, nearly 4,000 children die in their mothers’ wombs at the hand of a certified abortionist.  Of course, there is controversy on this subject. Some people claim to be pro-life, while others claim to be pro-abortion, although they call it “pro-choice.”   Now I don’t know what you believe about abortion.  But there are three basic standpoints on the issue. Some people in America believe that abortion in wrong and should be banned. Others believe that abortion is a “necessary evil” in cases of rape or incest, or if the health or life of the mother is in jeopardy. And still others see abortion as a women’s choice—a choice that no one has the right to take away from her. I do not know where you stand. But I know where I stand. And I am not writing this to just share my thoughts. I am here to present you with the truth: the real, scientific, medical and moral truth.  It is my sincere hope that through this article, you will see the amazing evidence of life before birth, and come to understand why this war, the silent war on the unborn, must be won.   

Earlier I gave you the statistics of babies whose lives were lost to abortion since 1973. That is 120,600 babies every month, 4,020 babies every day, and at least 3 babies every minute.  According to Right to Life.org , 1 in every 4 babies is killed in the act of abortion every year.  These numbers mean nothing to those who refuse to believe that an unborn baby is a viable human being; rather, they believe that it is merely a “woman’s choice” to have her child murdered. But to those who have chosen to see the truth that what is often called a “fetus” is actually a precious child in need of protection and care, these death tolls are heartbreaking. How is it that the same hands of a doctor who delivers babies into this world can also be used to tear a baby apart, limb by limb, and deliver it dead from its mother’s womb? How is it that the same hands that assist in giving life can use man-made devices and chemicals to take the life an innocent child? And how is it that so few “pro-life” people dare to speak out against it? How tragic it is that we go on in our day-to-day lives without giving a moments’ thought to the hundreds of babies that are being killed in the act of abortion!

But why? Why is abortion still happening? If it is true that a baby’s heart is beating at just 18 days after conception, and that his brainwaves are detectable at just 40 days, then that baby IS a live human being. Science proves it, all moral conscience demands that it be accepted, and the majority of politicians, lawyers and citizens know that when a woman is pregnant, there is a child alive inside of her. Every doctor believes it. But if we all know the truth, how then can we allow abortion to continue to take place in our country today?  There must be a better way.

Life. We must choose life. The choice of adoption, even. Life is precious in every circumstance.

 Life… is not ours to take. If we take an innocent persons’ life, whether they be inside their mothers’ womb or out, it IS murder. So the question I am asking you today is this: what will you do? What are you going to do with the information that has been presented to you? We already have the statistics from the past year regarding abortion; but what about this year? Think about it: 2012 is over, 2013 is here. Why can’t 2013 be the year that the people of America—the doctors, the politicians, the judges, the people!—choose to speak out against abortion? This CAN be the year that we find our courage to stand up on behalf of the unborn and really make a difference. This can be the year that when the topic does arise in a conversation, we are not afraid to share the truth about life before birth. This can be the year that we can reach out to the women in our community who are facing crisis pregnancies and offer them help and guidance, adoption alternatives and counseling (rather than turning a blind eye to them or allowing them to be coerced into going to the nearest abortion facility). This can be the year that the hearts and mind of the American people are changed, and we can all begin to view the unborn children as innocent human children, and our future generation. Let us set an example to the world: that America loves her children, protects her children and lets her children live. 2013 can be the year; will you choose to believe it?"

"Speaking Without a Voice" - Lessons Learned by Wheezy MacHackie

"One thing I have spoken; two things I have heard. That You, O God, are faithful, and You, O Lord, are strong..."

Last night, my family and I watched my favorite film, Amazing Grace, and I was reminded of a quote by John Newton:  

"... I remember two things — that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."

Prior to a weekend full of speech tournament events, I began losing my voice, and I knew deep down that God was going to teach me something very important through the experience. 

I am sick. I’ve been very sick for the past three weeks and I don’t understand why it is getting worse, but most of the symptoms just come and go. So, I kept my speaking to a minimum Friday morning— thought I never expected it to be so difficult, to not talk when I really couldn’t talk—and the first 4 rounds of public forum debate Friday night went rather smoothly. Saturday morning, my voice was almost 100%  gone. I was terrified that I would have to drop out of my other speech events; but, after some discussion with the judges, I went ahead and gave my Thematic Religious Reading speech*, but I had to whisper. Yes, I whispered my speech. It was the only way I could use any voice inflection, for if I attempted to speak normally, it squawked and squeaked like a chicken caught in a mouse trap. 

Now, after getting through that speech, I went on to compete in the Radio Broadcasting event. In Radio Broadcasting, the student is given several news articles and 30 minutes of preparation time before presenting their limited-prep speech to the judges. The catch is: the judges have their backs turned away from the presenter. So I had come to the tourney with a great idea for my radio station, which including numerous character voice impressions and so forth.... but, with my voice being that of Wheezy the Penguin (from Toy Story), I knew I couldn’t try that plan, so after talking with dear sister Becky, I decided to do a new style of Radio Broadcasting entirely. It started off like this:

“Goooood morning, America! This is 87.3 Squawk Talk Radio. I’m your host, Wheezy MacHackie.”

I completed the joke by adding a Squeaky Duck Clean shampoo commercial and a weather update from the Hippi-Dippie weatherman (I'll post up my speeches in more detail soon). Now, remember, I’d been whispering all morning, so the first time I really heard my crazy voice was when I gave my speech in the presentation room; which, by the way, was standing room only. All the other events in that round had already finished, so EVERYONE came in to watch the final speaker for Radio Broadcasting. My first broadcast didn’t go so well, as I had a hard time not laughing at myself, but I really was amazed that somehow, I made it all the way through. 

Everyone at the tournament was so encouraging, and I not only saw Gods’ mercy and love being poured out on me, but I saw it flowing through everyone who spoke to me. The second round, I gave my Thematic Religious Reading (TRR) in full voice, and received great feedback. The next Radio Broadcast was much better, and I had a lot of fun with it, although I was sure I would not get high scores.  Imagine my shock when, at the closing program,  the invitees to the International Convention were called to the front, and I heard my name. For Radio Broadcasting.

 I have definitely not judged the success of this tournament by what I scored high in, but rather by the amazing fact that I was even able to speak at all. Before and after my TRR, I could barely talk; but during that one speech, my voice was clear, resonant, and didn’t squeak one single time. I was able to communicate the message of  "aspiration" to the judge and the three other people in the room; and, if it impacted them even a little, it is because of God's gift to me. To receive the inspiration to use my situation to entertain the radio “audience” was truly a work of God. I don’t exactly know why he did what he did for me, and I don’t know how it all happened. I may not ever understand why He chose to let me speak at certain times. But I am ever so grateful that He saw me through an incredibly trying weekend.

The lessons learned, yesterday especially, are beyond number, and I’m positive that I couldn’t put most of them into words, either. But reflecting back on the words spoken by John Newton, which I quoted at the beginning...

The two main messages I learned. One— God may not heal me when I pray for healing. But if I am willing, He will make me stronger in this sickness, and help me to do things I never thought possible in a situation like mine.

My Family

"Every family is like a bowl of cereal: a mixture of nuts, fruits, and even a few flakes."

The way I introduce my family says a lot about them; and, I must add in all equality, the way any of them introduce me says a lot about me.... so I shall be both fair and fun in this introduction to my family members.  

I have been blessed to grow up in a Christian home with both my parents and three amazing older siblings. Being the youngest (or, as my family loves to call me, "the baby") has it's advantages and disadvantages; I have been able to observe my brothers and my sisters in their actions, and from an early age, I learned to discern what was right and wrong- with much credit to the Biblical foundations my mom and dad laid down for us. In some areas I have imitated my siblings, and there are some things I have not tolerated or applauded; but as the years have passed, I've been graced with the wisdom to see how the dynamics of our family work together to create a beauty of a masterpiece. So here are some pieces to the puzzle:

{Ha. Leave it to the budding photographer kid to make mom & dad do a Wild West pose.}

In all seriousness, now. These are my parents:

{Dad & Mom, at Mackinaw Island}

Their "how we met" story is one of the cutest you'll ever hear; but of course, you'll have to ask them about yourself. 

My mom was raised Catholic, participated in school sports, graduated with flying colors and, by and by, ended up marrying my dad. For as long as she can remember, she had always wanted to be a teacher; after several years of serving on the local school board, she decided to home school her children. Yay, Mom! :) 

My dad, also raised in a Catholic family (of 7 kids, no less!) is a big game hunter, mechanic, football coach, amateur comedian, and all-around handyman. To be honest, I cannot remember ever having another person come into our house or our garage to fix something. My dad has always done it. :)

Both my parents came to Christ after they married; their journey of faith has been one of tears and laughter, as they are the only children in both their families to break away from the Catholic church and pursue Christianity. I am so proud of them and very thankful for everything they have done for their family and kids. They have instilled in my brothers a strong, Michigan work ethic, the concept of modern-day chivalry, and the biblical values needed to become a strong man of God. And, since my sister and I were very little, my parents have taught us to be God-fearing young women, to know the value of honor,  femininity and virtue, and through many resources and books which we have read together over the years, our “mum” has taught us the many aspects of biblical womanhood and the lady’s role in the home and in society. Absolutely nothing could substitute for the hands-on training we have received, though, especially through the joys and experiences of living life in the country, where we cut and stack our own wood for heat and hang laundry out on the line whenever we can (by “whenever”, I mean any day in Michigan from February to November when it is not raining or snowing!)

Now, for my beloved brethren...

{Tim & me}

We'll start with Tim, my youngest big brother. :)  Not only is he a huge Michigan fan, an Eagle Scout, a computer whiz, and a great speaker (and, I might add, I think he sings pretty well, too!), he is a regular sarcastic jester, is great for hugs and has an incredible gifting as a teacher. If not for Tim, I never would have thought I could be a softball pitcher; but, with his training, I became the #1 pitcher for my team for 2 years.

{Ben, Becca & Ava}

 This is Ben, my manly-man oldest brother. In 2009, he married miss Becca Jo Tinklenberg. Ben is the kind of guy who loves fishing, farming, football, country music and going out into the woods, either to hunt or, as my sister and I love to joke, he will "just chop down a few trees for fun".  He is a fantastic cook, plays basketball, and is a wonderful dad. He's also the one who taught me how to throw a football like a pro. :) I'm proud to say I have a brother who practically lives in camouflage and cowboy boots.

I am also excited to say that my sister-in-law and I share many likes, one of them being chemistry. In fact, she is a chemist. More than that, she is a fabulous cook, crafter, mother, homemaker and friend. She and Ben together also parent three great dogs- big dogs, I should say- whose names are Toby, Sam and Brewster.

Wondering who that little muchkin is in the first photo? Well, as you may have guessed, that is my adorable niece, Ava Josephine. She is truly the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.

{Ava rockin' it out on her horsie!}

Ava was born February 3rd, 2012. She is the sweetest, most expressive little baby!

{Isn't this amazing? She was only in the world for about five hours when this picture was taken.}

 Imagine how photogenic she will be when she grows up!

 {...and here she is with her Grandpa, at 1 month old.}

She now has lots of teeth, and is starting to walk a bit. Ben told me she "found her voice" a few days ago, and is now shrieking in delight at everything funny (I said, "just watch: she might grow up to be a singer!" haha... brother simply glared at me.) 

But enough of the little peanut.

And now for my favorite sister... :)

{My dear sister Becky (left) & me (right)!}

This is my very best friend Becky. (I like to introduce her that way, then tack on that she is "also my sister".) When we were little, we almost always got along; but it wasn't until about five years ago that she and I decided that as sisters, we could and should be best friends, and ever since then, we are absolutely inseparable in our relationship. 

Growing up, we did practically everything but burn the house down together. ;)  One of our greatest pastimes is playing dolls together, creating great stories and adventures with amazing plot and dialogue, most of them taking place in imaginary medieval period lands, with villages, fields, and castles (the playroom upstairs, the window seat and the steps) as the sets, and endless princess dresses and homemade capes for our Barbies (if you ever want to know about our amazing theatricals, you have only to ask me!).  Little drama queens that we were, we acted out countless tales without endings and went on many adventures together in our imaginations. I must confess that I was often the little sister who was always bugging big sister to “stop reading that book and play!”.   :)

  As we grew older, our activities together turned to composing real stories, board games, sports, ballet, puzzles, and more and more genuine conversation. Everything there was to talk about, we could find a way to talk to each other about it, whether it be while doing the dishes or in the garden, or in our beds late at night. We have endured much together, and we have grown closer with every passing year. (I'm sure I will have a post exclusively for my sis fairly soon.) :)  I so appreciate my sister and the confidence I have found in her company; I truly could not ask for a better or more beautiful best friend and sister.

So there you have it. 

This is my family.

I could talk about them all day.

The love I have for them is crazy and overflowing. 

____________________________________________________

Balancing Act - Peace & Passion

Even when I was little, I never liked teeter-totters. Believe me, I was never the kid to shy away from adventure or even unsteadiness beneath my feet. I climbed trees, haybales, tall ladders, and sat on rooftops for fun. I loved every piece of equipment at the park except the teeter-totter.

When I was eight, I began taking ballet classes. It’s a common misconception that if you take ballet, you must be a very talented and graceful ballerina. The truth is, I needed ballet; without ballet, I wouldn’t BE graceful at all.

The teeter totter is a mind picture of unsteadiness and uncertainty. You go up, you come down; you fly off it or you get your bottom slammed on the ground.  Ballet is all a matter of balance. You lean from side to side in an attempt to keep your balance while up on your toes. The two together present a perfect combination of comparisons to the topic that has been laid on my heart to address.  Passion, and peace. How do the two go together in the Christian walk? For me, the question is: how do I perfect a balance of them in my life?

There are many definitions for the word balance; I’ll list only a couple.

{ Balance: a means of judging or deciding; a counterbalancing weight, force, or influence }

balance: keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall

The concept of the balancing act, between passion and peace, is actually both of these definitions.

In our world today, we are often surrounded by many voices that scream for our attention. We become flustered, frazzled and even depressed by the onslaught of media, drama, gossip, relationships and overall a very fast-paced society in which advertisements claim to have the answers we long for… but they almost never measure up to expectations. How hard it can be to have faith in humanity sometimes, to trust, to have hope; or, even more difficult, to find peace. Peace. I’ve been taught since childhood that peace, true peace, is found in God. I hold fast to that faith, and it gives me great comfort when I do go to my Father and read his word. But the key word here is “when”.  It pains me to admit that I often let myself become overwhelmed with the cares of the world and struggle with my self-sufficiency long before I turn to Him and ask for help, even when I know in my heart of hearts that it is only in Him that I find peace.

Another thought that is sorely overlooked in our world, in my generation and others, is passion. How long has it been since you felt a real passion for something? My greatest struggle right now is with my restlessness and my apathy; it feels as if the two are at war within me, and it grieves me so. Why, when I have the source of greatest peace, do I feel so restless? It must be because of my longing to do something important, to be someone, to make a difference. So I need a passion. But when I feel this passion rise up in me, and I realize how I have failed and how incapable I am to bring it about, it brings depression and anxiety, and I long for peace. Some may call this a vicious cycle, but I know it is more than that. It is not an emotional rollercoaster (even if it were, I don’t suppose I am the only one riding it.)  Rather, I see it as a working of the Holy Spirit in me. I have been forced to ask myself, what is the proper balance between peace, and passion?

Do I forsake certain passions for the sake of less stress in my life? Never. But do I take the advice of others, and take precautions to make sure I don’t have too much on my plate? Of course, although it must be done according to God’s will, and not the will of men. And what of peace? If I seek out peace in every situation, and take time to stop and breathe whenever the going gets rough, does that mean I am lazy? Sometimes I think so. Is peace the underlying cause for my laziness? No. Ridiculous as it sounds, I’ve even wondered,  if I didn’t feel so at peace, would I be more apt to pursue diligence and complete my daily responsibilities (note- schoolwork!) with greater zeal. When I am calm and collected, while everyone around me seems to be in a frantic or disturbed state, does that make me apathetic? No. Apathy is the presence of indifference, not the absence of anxiety.  But I must not sit idly by, or believe that a state of ease is to be desired.  In all of these questions, and confusion and searching, I have been graced with the wisdom to come to several conclusions.

I must seek out passion above all comforts. Peace must come from God, and no other. With His peace in my soul, I must not only believe that His strength will be sufficient for me to do His will, but I must act on those passions He lays on my heart.  Numerous or new passions do not give reason to disregard past and common dreams and callings, or to wait for an “opportune” time. Instead, I must follow Christ’s example and do the will of the Father in every circumstance, and simultaneously keep my eyes focused on the ultimate goal, the greatest passion: that of showing His love to the world.

God gives us all individual passions and callings, and He has equipped you with every good thing to bring about His will in the manner of which you have been created for.  Perhaps you do not feel strongly for any particular cause right now. It is not a sign of weakness; but, maybe you just need to consciously open up your eyes, ears and heart to the world around you, and in time, I believe God will show you where He desires for you to work.  Peace and passion do go together; in fact, I now see that they work in perfect harmony. Yes, passion can lead to anxiety which leads to a quest for peace which can lead to stillness and even apathy which leads to a thirst for passion. But you see, this is not a vicious cycle or an emotional roller coaster.  It is not a crazy, flying-high bumping-down ride on a teeter totter.

It is more like a ballet.

A perfect combination. A dance.

And because of Christ’s sacrifice and the working of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have true peace and passion.

It is a balancing act. And a beautiful one at that.