Today. A Poem.

"I wake to see the fog laid out on the lawn

Softly, quietly, stretches and yawns

Today is a day I’d rather spend on my own

Than get up for work, go into town

I know what is right, but I felt it last night

The need to be still and know

As I rise the sun rises, always surprises me

For hours it remains brightly unseen

How it hides behind such fragile billows

Makes it hard to leave behind my soft pillows

Today shouldn’t require bravery, but it does

Today should be ordinary, but it isn’t

Everything is wrong with me, but everything is right

Why do I think I’m strong when I have no might

Should I try to make sense, should I just act all the time

Should I sit and contemplate, till my heart’s genuine

I trust, I trust in Him, but still I feel something missing

Even when I’m assured, I just want to go away

I feel it can’t be right, but there’s nothing more to change

My selfishness has haunted me since birth

My heart knows Him who defines my worth

I denounce the sinner, run away from the sin

Yet still there is guilt cast on and within

Whenever I am or feel like this.

My capability to enjoy is not diminished

Though I’m tired and worn my task is not finished.

Finally, at last, with tears and a laugh

Later than it could, but exactly as it should

The sun appears, through rainy clouds of gray

It says hello, says it’s not here to stay

Disappears in a second, just like the rain

A bit of both to cheer me on this beautiful chilly day

These hours are a painting of perfect moments

A brisk little collection of quick and slowness

I resolve on this day to give up control

Once again, even more, not like before

Though I’ve said it a thousand ways

No gift, no due, is exactly the same

I surrender myself, though I know not what it means

I still do, and You do what you will with me

And I won’t let my feelings control me

Nor will I try to control anything

I don’t sit up, don’t give up, only rest

Knowing that He always knows best

And just look out at the marvelous for a moment…

The trees, the sky, the swallows that fly

Beneath a comforter of gray and mysterious white

The rain that sings and the wind that calls

Remind me of the imminence of fall

And I believe. I believe.

The confounding joy deep within my soul is a greater gift than I could ever ask for.

And if today’s tonight gives me anything, it is peace

And all I can feel now, all I can tell of, is thanks.

“I lay down and see the dew on the lawn

I will arise, I will stand,

by His tender hand

To awaken and sing with the dawn…."